xmutanthigh | [open log] come play with kitty!

[Well, that was a first! Kitty doesn't know if she's relieved or satisfied or confused, it's kind of hard to make through the mess of feelings she has right now.] It is. They even made it into a tv show. Only the books are way better, start with those. [She meant to stop talking, she really did, but Kitty's too much of a geek to not hold onto this conversation. She's still kicking herself, though - it's not like John's going to want to start a book club or something equally as silly, so what's the point?]

[Yeah, she's a... little nerd, isn't she? He remembers that faintly. He's also starting to realize he's staring dumbly at the back of her head, and he doesn't really understand why he's not spitting out one of those scathing remarks usually on the tip of his tongue.

It's kind of disturbing how he realizes he doesn't even have one.]

Maybe, I don't really... [He's about to say he doesn't really have much else to do, but he trails off for a moment. Where are his scathing remarks?] ...have much else to do. Or maybe I'll just watch the show. Avoid being a nerd like you. [Ah, there's a scathing--no, wait. No, he was teasing her, not insulting her. The fuck?]

[He sounds almost uncertain, and that's even weirder than him being funny. In fact, this whole thing is strange. Their interactions lately have been strange. Sometimes she finds herself forgetting what he's done in the past entirely - and even when she remembers, he still isn't that bad. Especially when he makes her laugh like he is now.] Well, I've got the DVDs if you want them. Wouldn't want you sinking down to my level! [Oh yeah, she's definitely confirmed her dorkiness now, but her mom gave her the box set for Hanukkah a few years back - does that still make her a nerd? Does she even care if she is? Not really.]

[He is making her laugh like, he doesn't know, like friends laugh or something. And she offered to let him borrow her DVDs. And her dorkiness, he kind of doesn't hate it. And he doesn't really know why he isn't backing slowly away now to avoid the strange feeling in his gut, in his very skin from it. He feels... he doesn't fucking know. He feels something other than annoyance and hatred and bitterness, and that's just fucked up enough.]

Yeah, who wants to be a big dork who hangs out in libraries? [He says this dryly, agitatedly tossing the book at his side, catching it before it falls.]

[Kitty's surprised this exchange isn't over by now, but doesn't let it show. It's almost...nice. In a really odd, twisted way, this is almost comfortable. Comfortable in a way that really isn't, because she's almost worried she'll say the wrong thing and he'll pull back again, back to square one. And for some reason she doesn't feel like explaining, Kitty doesn't want to go back there.] It gives you a terrible reputation, and I'm speaking from experience [Kitty grins a little before shutting her book and sliding it back in the shelf, standing kind of uncertainly. She slips her hands into her hoodie pockets, mostly because she doesn't really know what to do with them now there isn't a novel to occupy them. Which is really, really silly and stupid - she's never worried about something so trivial before, but for some reason it feels important now.]

[Maybe he's just feeling weird because she's acting weird or whatever. All he sees when he looks at her is a half-pained smile; unsure movements as she rises to her feet. What is he doing here? It finally occurs to him he's just probably making her uncomfortable by being even a little nice or maybe just for existing. That's enough for most people in this shit-hole.

He looks to the side, his jaw setting and her expression hardening a bit. That makes sense, and he'll latch onto that. He doesn't really... like it, if it's true. It's just he doesn't usually give a shit.]

I think I have more experience than you in that department, Kitty. [He looks back at her to say this, his lips in a sarcastic, failed smile. He's still not saying these things with bite, like he just can't muster enough of it when he's looking at her.]

[Ah, and there he goes. But it's not nearly as bad as she expects, there's no harsh reply, no cruel laughter. Instead what he says is...almost sad, although she's positive he didn't mean for it to come out that way. And she feels bad for him, but it isn't pity, and she's not looking down on him, feeling as if he deserves to feel this way - as she was guilty of doing in the past.

A moment or two passes before Kitty picks up the pile of books set aside on the shelf - she can't think of anything to say until she's walked up to where he is, fully expecting to brush past him with the excuse of work waiting for her. But she pauses briefly instead, feeling the brief panic of not knowing what to say before something comes to her.] You're not as bad as you think you are, you know. [She tries to smile a little to make it sound teasing, but can't quite manage it. And with that, Kitty moves past him, disappearing around the corner.

[It's not as if every inch of him kind of lit up as she stopped close to him or anything. It wasn't like he was focused on her proximity while casually leaning against the bookcase, his hand not holding his book stuffed in his pocket. He wasn't; she just... the way she was looking at him caught him off guard. He doesn't know; it was... sympathetic, almost. And Kitty shouldn't sympathize with him. Shouldn't feel bad for him or his situation, because he deserves all of this. The hate, the fear, the lack of trust. The isolation. He deserves worse but he's too much of a coward to take responsibility for all the shit he did, and that's just the cherry on top of the fucking sundae. He's the lowest of lows.

The point is, he knows that deep inside, and someone as good and silly as Kitty Pryde shouldn't look at him like that, no matter how decent he was towards her. And not even decent, just decent compared to how he is to everyone else. She just shouldn't.

And she shouldn't say that, even think anything like that. He can't even think of a response; he couldn't even begin to. He just stays still, his eyes on the ground as she passes him by.]

[open log] come play with kitty!

I LOVE JOHN MOREE~ AND YOUU <3

LIES I LOVE KITTY AND YOUUUU~ MORE <3

<3333 :D

<333 OMG SHE'S SO PAINFULLY CUTE /sobs

ALSDKFJ I LOVE THEM SO MUCHHHH

ME TOOOO THEY ARE BEING S-SO PRECIOUS DSFS

ALKDSJ CAN THEY STAY THIS WAY FOREVER

;JASF;KJ;GR YES PLEASE PLEASE YES.