xmutanthigh | [OPEN POST] vivaaaaa las vegas

Entry tags:

[OPEN POST] vivaaaaa las vegas

Characters: Julian Keller, you!
Setting: Your dorm room door.
Content: Look this is the start of an epic vacation. Get in line.
Status: Open and incomplete.
Thread-jacking: JACK AWAY.
NOTE: Those tagged are the doors he's knocking on. If your character is not tagged, you're free to throw them in the mix another way.

[Sometimes... Julian is impulsive, rash, and just plain extravagant for the sake of being extravagant. This doesn't necessarily explain why he's knocking on your door, but it's about to.]

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Yeah, I know. [Her hands find his chest automatically as he pulls her towards him. Green eyes look off to the side, avoiding his as her teeth begin to tug at her bottom lip.] You sure there ain't more to this than just taking a break as a team?

[So that's out there. He's almost relieved she's avoiding his eyes; the way his predatory smirk softens and his face falls just a bit is all the confirmation she's looking for. He's quiet a moment - just a few suspended seconds of feeling her palms against his chest, her downcast eyes and bitten lip. There's an ache in his chest thinking about her question, looking at her.

He leans down, nudges his head gently against hers. His lips hover over the shell of her ear.]

I just want us to have some fun.

[She doesn't say anything, her gaze shifting up to his for a brief moment before dropping again. The lip biting stops as she tries to simultaneously consider question at hand and also try to push away the rising tension within her. It's not exactly a successful effort on either front.]

[There's something in her eyes - something that twists the ache inside of him painfully. He catches a glimpse of that look, and he knows: She knows. She's looking right through him.

He looks down between them, just as uncertain and lost as she is. He doesn't know what to say to make her feel better, doesn't know if he should say anything. If he were a bit more self-aware, maybe he'd know he was afraid to bring it up. He just knows he has to be careful. Has to... he doesn't know. He has no idea.]

[She moves back a minuscule distance, not even realising that she is. They've been avoiding the issue for at least a month now if not two and she's still no more eager to go into it now than she was before. It's a moment before she finally manages to flick her gaze up again, keeping it there this time.] So Vegas. Did you talk to anyone else yet? [It's an attempt to change the conversation and a really poor one at that. Nothing in her demeanor's changed and her tone is strained.]

[He feels her moving back (his hands slide with her to hold her hips). He feels the responding emptiness in his gut, the apprehension, the frustration. His blue eyes search hers at her question; nothing about his demeanor changes either. If anything, it worsens - his jaw tightens. He hates seeing the look in her eyes more than anything, and that's reason enough to answer, to fill the space.] Just Bobby. He and Laura are in.

Look, sweetheart... [He trails off, but his eyes don't leave hers. They're focused, unwavering, even as he wavers inside. One of his hands lifts to push back her hair. He wants to say and not say so many things. Tell her he loves her, ask what she's thinking, tell her what he is, tell her he's doing this for them. Nothing seems right. Seems honest.

His voice is strong, but gentle.] What's going on with us?

[Rogue lets out the breath she didn't even realise that she'd been holding in a soft whoosh of air. Her hands leave his chest, one brushing against his on her hair before dropping. She shakes her head, shrugging just a little.]

I don't know.

[It's not so much a lie as it's an inability to even begin to try and put all of this mess into words. She shakes her head again, taking a few steps back and half turning away. Her tone is soft and unsure as she repeats herself.] I just don't know.

[He almost feels grateful she does, because it wakes him up. Gives him room to take a breath. That and her answer shocks him from his passive daze - the quietness between them for the past excruciating weeks. Julian shifts, lifts a hand to drag his palm over his mouth. Licks his dry lips.]

I hurt you. Or I - you're upset. [He blurts the words out, unthinkingly. But he feels that they are true.]

[That gets her attention and her head snaps around to look at him.] What? No. No, you didn't. And I'm not.

[She drops down onto her bed, gloved hands starting to toy with each other in her lap.]

[His eyes lift to hers; his hand drops down to his side, curls and uncurls into a fist. She's wrong - even if the first isn't true, the second... Even if it's not upset, it's something. Sad. He thinks she's sad.

Julian swallows and looks off to the side, to the ground, and then lets out a shaky exhale.]

It's getting harder. [His voice is low, slightly rough.] Not being able to-

Touch? Make love? Be a normal couple? [There's a great deal more than just a touch of emotion in Rogue's voice. Some of it's tension, some of it's irritation, some of it's anger, and a lot of it is self loathing. She grits her teeth for a moment, hands curling into fists for a brief moment before flattening against her thighs.] Yeah. I know.

[His gaze lifts to find hers at the sound of her reply. His expression is quiet, unassuming, but his jaw is tight. Each one of her words feel like the memory of blow - what's more present to him is the look in her eyes, the tenor of her voice.]

Don't say it like that. [The words are firm, even agitated.]

There's another way to say it? [The words are sharp but the anger within them isn't directed at him. It never is when this particular issue comes up.]

[He never thinks that anger is directed at him, but sometimes he wishes it was. He holds her gaze unflinchingly, his fingers flexing in and out of a fist. Sometimes he wishes it was so he could own some of the blame and loathing in her voice.]

Yeah, you could say it like it's not your fault.

My mutation, my fault.

[Some of the blame and loathing has been reined in favour of a more matter-of-fact tone but it's still there. She can't hold his gaze anymore and drops it to the floor for a moment before shifting it to some random point to the side.]

[He's a little angry too now, but not at her. Not really. His breath shakes on an exhale, something switches in him at how she looks away, doesn't want to face him.

He closes the space between, reaches down to gently grab her fingers.]

Your mutation does not make it your fault. It's no one's fault. You didn't choose this, so don't act like you did.

[The touch draws her eyes back up to his and she gives a resigned little sigh.] But that doesn't change anything, Julian. It doesn't matter if I blame myself or not, the problem's still the same.

It matters. It matters to me. [He squeezes her hand, holds it against his chest, the look in his eyes reassuring and pleading and determined all at once.] If you think that doesn't change things, you're kidding yourself. You can't blame yourself for what's happening here. I won't let you.

Edited 2011-04-30 17:30 (UTC)

[She shakes her head a little, pushing away her frustration with his insisting words.] It doesn't matter. Look, can we not talk about this? [The 'this' is very deliberate and a punctuated with a squeeze of his hand.]

[Her plea makes him pause, along with the squeeze of her hand. It does matter; of course it matters, but he hears her. This is not the whole problem. Just some piece of it.

He looks down at her relentingly, keeps ahold of her hand as he quietly acquiesces to her question, and sits down besides her. His body is angled towards her; one of his knees presses against hers. He looks down at their folded hands, trying to for the right words.]

We are a normal couple. We just can't-

[Rogue just gives him a look, cutting off any more words that might follow those. It's a moment before she says anything, her tone has a hint of bitter amusement in it.] Normal? We're mutants, we're X-men, and we can't actually touch. I think we can just take the word 'normal' out of the equation, sugah.

[A breath leaves him: it's a resigned, frustrated sigh. Fine, she's right.] Whatever, so we're not normal. We're not just some regular homo sapiens living our boring lives and getting our rocks off. I've never been normal, sweetheart. I don't want to be normal. And I want you, whether I can touch you or not.

But I want to.

[Her voice is small, void of its previous bite, and her eyes drop to their entwined hands as well.] And I want to be with you too. You were right before. This... this has all just gotten so much harder lately.

[He hates hearing her say the words - because it hurts him. It hurts that he can't give her this. Give her what she wants. Give her normal.

His eyes close for a brief few seconds; he lets out a heavy, short breath. His voice is low, soft, rough.]

I know. We need to... figure something out.

Edited 2011-04-30 21:17 (UTC)

[Rogue nods, trying to force some of the tension out of her body. She doesn't mean to take out her anger on him, doesn't mean to hurt him unintentionally. There's a moment before she manages a brief half smile and shrugs.]

Well, I'm open to ideas. The last time I tried... it didn't exactly go real well.

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kickasstelekine.livejournal.com - 2011-05-01 14:27 (UTC) - Expand

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