xmutanthigh | [open thread] so melancholy guys

Entry tags:

[open thread] so melancholy guys

Characters: Julian, you.
Setting: Some common area; not the rec room. SHOCKING.
Content: The content of whatever happens.
Status: Open and incomplete.

[Julian is sprawled across some couch, propped up by a pillow and the armrest, a book open on his chest. Yes, Julian Keller is reading. Why? He has to, for one class or another. This one's for business and he's actually paying some attention to the words on the page, although every now and then he spaces out, looks off to the side. He's not bored or even necessarily tired anymore, just weary in a way that's starting to get under his skin.

It's quiet where he is; this is the living area most students don't frequent - it's usually occupied by the Cuckoos. Today, however, Julian's in it for the same reason he's been in it more often than the rec room all week: to avoid people. There's just something about what he's working through that makes him a bit anti-social.]

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[Julian peers over again at the sound of Forge's voice, cranes his neck curiously, his eyes landing on the busted speaker. Ali, he realizes. And he's wont to agree with Forge's awed statement, however much it irks him how full of affection it sounded. Julian swings his legs over the side of the couch, sits up to get a better look.]

I got her speakers a few Christmases ago. Had to replace 'em twice.

[Forge looks up quickly, a little shocked to hear Julian addressing him. He must be reading something really boring...]

I hope they were under warranty. None of the conventional stereo jobs can really stand up to her; I was building her a custom set for her birthday last month, but... [He shrugs a little sadly.] They got trashed with the rest of the lab.

They were. And we definitely learned that lesson. [Julian can't help but feel a touch of sympathy at that, and he's quiet for a moment, lifting a hand touch his mouth, wipe down over his chin. It's an uncomfortable tick and he can't help it. As much as he hates almost everything about Ali and Forge, he still knows it's unfair.] How bad was the damage?

To the lab? [Forge frowns, shrugs, tries to ignore the instinctive pang of jealousy at the "we" Juilan refers to; they're just friends he reminds himself. Best friends...] Pretty much total annihilation. I was able to scrape together most of my blueprints, recover the data from my hard drives but the tech itself...either stolen or scrapped. Almost lost a small fortune in contracts, but Emma pulled some strings with Stark, convinced him to restock my lab for use of a few key patents of mine. [He shakes his head, realizing he's probably oversharing. Like this guy gets it, he's got money to burn! He turns his attention back to the mess of speakers in front of him.] Anyway. I've got a lot of work ahead of me, now.

[A lot of it might go over Julian's head - like the effort and sweat and blood all of Forge's work took. But he understands one thing; he understands the business part of it. He understands scraping, making sacrifices. James might have left him a nice hotel empire, but it's not easy - it's still new. It's still struggling.] That sucks. Look, you need anything... [Julian stops himself there, trailing off for only a moment. And he stops because he knows where the offer is coming from, why it starts to leave him. Ali. The other night. Since the moment he saw her going soft for this guy. Guilt. Julian licks his lips.] Emma's good for that. I'm sure you know that though.

Oh, I do. It's not the first time this sort of thing has happened, it won't be the last. [Forge shrugs. The fact is a vague comfort, making it a little easier to reassemble the shambles of his work, several years worth of it in some cases, knowing it's been done before. It doesn't make the loss any easier, or less great. He glances up to lock eyes with Julian for a moment, studying the younger boy, appraising his tenuous restraint of...what? Forge can tell, and he flips his goggles over his eyes as a soldering gun pops out from his finger.] I would have hammered things out with Tony eventually, but Emma...she's got that special touch; I was glad for her help. [A couple sparks fly, reflected on the surface of the Maker's goggles and again he wonders if he's crazy, talking to Julian of all people about this. He supposes it's not terribly personal, and chalks it up to pent-up frustration and his tendency to chit-chat while he's working, dividing his mind so his instinctive gift of engineering can work unhindered by the workings of his conscious mind.] It's not just Emma; Ali and Jono have been hooking me up with roadie work, Logan's linked me up with some work, even Beast has asked for help repairing some of his finer instruments. It's good. It's what we do here: look after our own.

Edited 2011-03-15 12:14 (UTC)

[Best Julian can figure? The guy's talkative. A lot talkative. He leans forward, elbows propped against his knees, and wonders if the guy talks to everyone like this. And he hates to admit that Ali's the same way - always rambling furiously about shit whether Julian cares or not, just showcasing all of that energy of hers. He feels something more erode inside of him, his attention piqued by that last part and how much he agrees.] Yeah. You're right. You'll have everything up and running in no time. Hopefully before there's another attack. [He says that last part dryly.]

[What Julian wonders about Forge's chatty habits? It's accurate. He babbles like this to most people, especially if he's fixing things. It was one of the first things he and Ali noticed they had in common, almost always talking over one another during commercial breaks while they watched soap operas. Forge had always thought it oddly sweet that Ali would keep quiet for entire breaks at a time to just listen to him.

He coils up the frazzled wires, sealing up the casing and moving on to the next speaker. He chuckled at Julian's dry comment; not the height of wit, but funny nonetheless.]

Oh, sure. I just wish we could get memos about the damn foundations getting ripped apart, you know? It'd make planning vacations a lot easier.

[That provokes a short, stilted chuckle, but Julian's amusement fades; he's glad Forge isn't facing him as he leans over his lap, rubs his hands together pensively. Forge isn't a bad guy; he knew this before. Maybe Julian has his own doubts about how good he is for Ali, but there's nothing okay with the baseless resentment he feels. It is guilt, guilt over this, for Ali's sake, that rears up in him. He's wanted her for his own, inwardly and vocally and every which way degraded a relationship that made her somewhat happy. He doesn't want to share and yet he has no claim in the first place; he's starting to understand what he had only tried to convince himself of before.

And it hurts more than Julian wants to admit. There's more at stake now than his pride; he sees past it. He clears his throat, just a little.]

Sadly I don't think you can plan that as easy as a vacation.

Yeah. I was only kidding.

[Forge clicks his tongue, pulling apart some tangled wires, nodding to himself about what he's doing. It occurs to him that, perhaps there's something more to Julian than just being a money-burning maniac. Maybe, just maybe, he's starting to understand why this kid might be Ali's best friend, because he's sorta funny, and not half-bad when he's not going out of his way to be a dick.

Forge isn't entirely sure if Julian being a halfway decent human being makes him feel better or worse about how cozy the younger man is with Forge's girlfriend.]

Anyway, we don't really get vacations in the world-saving business. Gets right into your bones so you wind up taking it with you everywhere, even if you don't want to. [He shrugs, this kind of truth isn't news to him or anyone, he figures. But it's worth saying.] The sacrifices we make, right?

Heh, yeah. The sacrifices we make. [Julian repeats this back, the words slightly weighed down by their meaning. Because as of right now, thinking about the sacrifices he's made is kind of a heavy topic. Not to mention the rest of it: how it is in his bones. Right down to his core, this place. He has to live with this responsibility; has to accept he might have to kill again and again, or simply deny himself. Julian sighs quietly, thinks about the sudden clarity of this thought brought upon him by Forge's words. He continues on a lighter note.] All the more reason to pack up and go to Vegas or wherever when you can. It follows you, it follows you. Definitely followed us to London.

Edited 2011-03-17 08:47 (UTC)

Dude, Vegas? If you're business is saving people, Vegas would have you working unpaid overtime! [Forge laughs, holding up the speaker, rattling it a little, a couple of sparks fly as he solders something together.] Anyway, it's all worth it; look at London! May have been a total mess, but it was an eye opener for people about mutant rights in the UK. Reminds you that even on the bad days, you wind up having made a difference at the end of it. That's more than most people can say, that they had the strength and courage to change the world just by being who they are naturally.

[Forge is just about done and he nods approvingly, hiding the guts of the speaker inside it's housing again, turning to glance at Julian before moving to hook them back up.]

You got any tuneage? We should probably check these things work before giving them the final OK.

[A genuine smile pulls up Julian's lips; he joins Forge in that laugh with a chuckle of his own. But soon enough the edges of his smile soften; is this guy like a godsend of relevant reminders? Because Forge is right, and his words solidify ever so much something that had been weak and strained inside of Julian. His purpose, why he wants to be here in the first place.

Julian raises his head then, his set, serious expression faltering and changing the moment Forge's eyes settle on him, trying to cover any latent emotions up.]

Hrm? Sorry, man. [He shrugs; all he has is his book at the moment.]

[Forge frowns, patting himself down for his phone, one of the many MP3 players younger students have asked him to refurbish, or something to hook up to the stereo. This one, he knows, he had to poach the radio antennae to rig some walkie talkies for Artie and Jones last summer and had never gotten around to replacing the tech. He sighs, scratching his head.]

Where the hell is Ali when you need her, huh? Girl'll come and wake me up wanting to watch The Lost Boys in the middle of the night after a bender, but when I could actually use her help... [He shrugs, laughs a little, shaking his head and looking at the stereo. He looks back at Julian who hasn't gone back to reading yet.] She always been like that?

[Julian's lips twist up into a smile and he leans back into the cushions now, relaxing. Maybe he feels a soft pang of jealousy and possessiveness over the fact Ali wakes Forge up, but he tries to dispel the feeling. Anyway, he's not alone. He can't count many nights and mornings Ali has crawled into bed with him and poked, jostled, and coaxed him awake, usually pulling Josh into it too.]

Since the day I got here. She wakes me and Josh up for shit like that too. [A wave of affection and amusement floods across his features; Julian reaches to scratch his scalp, ruffling his hair slightly.]

[Forge wonders who else, if anyone, Ali's been waking up recently. It sure hasn't been him. He supposes his anger and jealousy over her and Jono's antics put some distance between them, and for a moment it makes him a little sad. He misses her, as much as there's a lingering resentment, lack of trust, he misses the Dazzler and talking to her best friend just brings the feeling home. He should be talking to Ali while he's working, her following him around yammering about this and that while he makes his repair rounds of the mansion, winding up on the couch for an hour or two of soaps at the end of it. He sighs.]

I miss her. [The confession itself doesn't surprise him, but the fact that he's saying it to Julian does a little. Maybe it's just because he seems like he'd know something about what's going on with Ali, maybe give the Maker some clue as to how to make things better with her. He finds something small to fiddle with on the stereo, just for something to do.] Things haven't been right with her for a while; I don't really know what to do about it.

[It surprises Julian too; his blue eyes lift and his smile fades. Why Forge would admit this to him - but he guess it makes sense. They both love her, and Julian feels suddenly all in the same boat with the Maker. He could have said those words himself, said them for months. He thinks back to their last conversation: her soothing touches and eager words of comfort, how she struggled, and all at once feels the guilt over not handling it right, not handling her right, not saying anything he should have said. It had been there, those troubling thoughts, at the back of his mind, and now they're pushed forward, clear as glass.]

That makes two of us. [Julian pauses, lets out an exhale.] She's tough, but she's going through a lot. You just have to... be there for her. [And Julian is sure he's not helping very much.] Don't be an idiot.

[Forge drags a hand over his face, shaking his head. He gives up the pretense of fiddling with the stereo, rattled enough to know that in his frustrating the thing might wind up across the room or disemboweled thoughtlessly.]

She's so confusing. [He blinks, laments, sits back on his heels.] One minute she's telling you her life story, the next she's sealed up tighter than a drum. I just...I wish I could get through to her. Lately, it seems like the only people she wants to be around are Starsmore and Kevin. [This brings on a dour look, thought Forge is trying to dispel the uneasy feelings he has about the Brit rocker. He remembers what Kevin said of Ali just being the way she is, all touchy-feely and sometimes very thoughtless, and isn't exactly comforted.] How can I be there for her if she's just...not around?

[Julian pulls in an inhale at what Forge just laid out, his eyes in his lap. He pulls his book onto his thigh for lack of anything else to do with himself. There's a part of him that can't believe he's having this conversation with Forge. There's another part that thinks he should man up and take his own advice.] That's just how she is. You can't expect her to always come to you. She gets upset... You got to suck it up and find her.

Edited 2011-03-17 19:12 (UTC)

She has had a rough go of things, hasn't she?

[Forge remembers Ali's singular confession of all the turmoil she's experienced, knows this simple advice is probably the best he could get, but none of it makes him feel any better. Lately, he's been feeling like there are some things he just can't fix and it troubles him. Julian is right, though, Forge decides, and he should go and seek her out...after he's done another once over his lab for scrap salvage.]

Yeah, you could say that. [The words are sad, and a little hard; Julian looks up at Forge's expression, his lips in a set frown. She really has had a rough time, and the look on his face - that's for the man in front of him. Because despite understanding why the Maker might be upset, Julian's allegiance is always with Ali, and he wishes - he just wants her not to be upset about this kind of shit. About Forge being upset with her. He just wishes this guy would let it go, not make her feel like shit about it anymore than she already does.] She didn't mean to upset you or whatever. She's sorry. She wasn't thinking.

[It irks, the thought of Ali confiding in Julian the trouble between her and Forge. Imagination spins a picture in his head of the two of them together, Julian providing comfort, holding her maybe...

Forge shakes his head to break the cycle of projection, reminds himself that he himself shared some personal intimacy with Julian's girlfriend when she was less than thrilled with him. Granted, Forge's encounter with Rogue involved a bazillion ninjas and a taser, but he can't imagine Julian being thrilled about it.

The bottom line for Forge when it comes to Ali is that she quite often never thinks, and while it's mostly endearing, sometimes that blatant disregard can be deeply hurtful. If he could narrow it down for himself, Forge would say it feels almost exploitative sometimes, and he's not sure he' okay with that. He can feel himself getting his back up, defensive at Julian's words.]

I know she wasn't. I know she is. I don't want to make her feel worse, on top of everything else she's going through of course I don't, but that doesn't mean I'm just okay with what she did.

[Julian works his jaw a little at the defensive answer, at the sudden tenseness of Forge's back. He gets it now; why Ali was upset. Forge is really holding onto this, and the worst part is Julian can't blame him completely. He knows how Ali can get, how careless. She's in her head most of the time; he loves that about her too. He's learned to accept it, but maybe Forge can't. There are somethings Forge can't fix, and there are somethings Julian can't either. He can't make the Maker forgive Ali, and the Maker can't make Ali change.]

I didn't say you should be. But she doesn't deserve this either. It's not helping either of you.

VEGAS BABY!!!

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[open thread] so melancholy guys

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OK THAT ONE WAS ON PURPOSE, DON'T EVEN ♥

/WHISTLES DIXIE CLUELESSLY

I KNEW IT I KNEW IIIIT

You know NOTHING.

I KNOW ALL

PFFT

PFFT YOU

WHICHEVER

I'M RIGHT

WRONG.

RIGHT.

Re: RIGHT.

Re: RIGHT.

Re: RIGHT.

OOC

Re: OOC