xmutanthigh | Bobby's aftermath threads

Entry tags:

Bobby's aftermath threads

Characters: Bobby, Laura, John, Jono, and anyone else who wants to jump in
Setting: Various places
Content: There's a lot of things to deal with in the wake of the past couple of days...
Status: Open(ish) and incomplete

Okay, so, in order to preserve my sanity while I get back into the rhythm of things with class, I'm trying something a little different. This will work kind of like the day-in-the-life posts, except I'm just going to throw up a few comments for a few specific characters, and then a general "Bobby's in the kitchen eating ice cream; come say hi" one which anyone can tag into after that. =)

Comments will be in vague chronological order, but we all know that TIME IS IN FLUX at XMH, so it doesn't matter too much when this stuff happens!

Hope it's not confusing!

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[Jesus, can anyone just go to the kitchen without being accosted here? And has it been mentioned that John would sooner jump off a cliff on his own volition than stop in the hall for a little chat with Bobby Drake? That could explain the slightly surprised and entirely suspicious look on John's face, the hateful curl of his lip. But he stops, because he's sure this is gonna be good.]

You want something, Iceman?

[Bobby isn't expecting anything other than hostility. He never does - not from John. And he accepts it because maybe it's not entirely undeserved.

He decides to keep this short; the words seem to fall out of him even though they cost him immense effort to say.]

Look, I get that you're gonna hate my guts no matter what I say. But I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not trying to find you and bring you back after Alkali.

[John's not sure what he expected - maybe a very unappreciated clap on the back for being such a good little X-men soldier and seeing the light and rainbows and unicorns and shit. Maybe a proud little nod over being some heroic suicidal idiot going in to get some poor kid out. Fuck, maybe even one of Bobby's infamous lectures about not being as good and kind and smart as he is.

But an apology? It's hard to describe what John's expression morphs into: his open amusement fades in favor for something serious, but his hostility lingers on the line of his lips, his indifferent gaze growing grave and depthless with anger. He pauses after that bullshit, stares at him. And then laughs, mirthlessly, bringing his fingers to his lips as he looks to the side a moment.]

You're sorry, Bobby? I didn't ask you to and it was the last thing I fucking wanted. So why don't you take your self-righteous bullshit and shove it up your ass. 'Cause I ain't buying it.

Edited 2011-03-02 02:28 (UTC)

[Though his jaw tightens at John's words, this is nothing Bobby hadn't expected. Bobby's not an idiot - he knows their friendship is irreparably damaged, and probably was on its way there even before the events of Alkali Lake.

And the thing is, he doesn't need or want John's acceptance of his apology, or his forgiveness. He just wants him to know, and what he does with that knowledge is his business. Like he said, he knows John's going to hate him no matter what he says or does.

Maybe he is doing this to make himself feel better. That doesn't stop him from being sincere. After all, once upon a time, John had been his best friend.]

Yeah, you might not have wanted it, and you could've torched me as soon as I came after you. But I still should've tried, and I'm sorry I didn't. That's it. I'm not asking for anything from you; I'm not an idiot. I just wanted to tell you.

Yeah, I get it. [The words are low, without any of the unamused laughter from moments before. John takes a step forward, his lighter already in his hand. His thumb strokes over the warmed metal because it's a comfort, and maybe also because he feels like torching Bobby right now. His narrowed eyes are steady and unwavering.] That make you feel better about yourself, Bobby? Can you let go of all your guilt now?

[Bobby barely glances at the lighter in John's hand. There isn't much he can do to him in this place; Bobby isn't intimidated or afraid. And he's not so easily goaded.

He apologised because it's the right thing to do. And doing the right thing - even though it might be pointless in this situation, even though John could care less and would sooner set Bobby alight than accept his words - that is what gives him a tiny bit of peace of mind.]

No.

[His answer is matter-of-fact, unemotional. He knows, now. Guilt isn't something that can be let go of so easily, especially when not all of it has been misplaced. He's long ago had to come to terms with what he did. He accepts it; he regrets it. There is little that can make him feel much better or worse about his inaction, the consequences of it, what has happened since then.

John will hate him. John will look for any opportunity to tear him down. And Bobby will live with it because he has to.

He folds his arms, expression blank and unreadable, and he begins to walk away. He's said his piece; he has nothing more to say and no interest in hearing any further taunts. ]

See you around, John.

[It'd be easy. Too fucking easy. John pivots his body to watch Bobby's back, his thumb pushing his lighter open, blind rage filling him to the brim. It would be short-lived violence; it would get him in a lot of fucking trouble. Still, John nearly shakes with the desire to watch Bobby burn, his thin chest heaving and his hazel eyes searing with anger.

He's not sure what pisses him off more: that Bobby thinks opening his fucking mouth and apologizing for shit he clearly doesn't understand because it's the right thing to do or that he thinks it makes him some righteous, holier-than-thou piece of shit over it. Boo fucking hoo.]

Hey. [John calls this down the hall, that single syllable somehow dripping with venom. He's white-knuckling his grip on his lighter by now.]

Let's get one thing straight, Iceman. I left and I didn't come back. You? You don't get to own my fucking actions, you got that? They're mine. I didn't need you to play the big damn hero then and I don't need you now.

[Bobby stops and rubs a hand over his face. He's just... tired of this. He's tired of carrying these thoughts around, tired of reliving everything, tired of the vehement animosity that John shows him.

Yes, he knows that John made his own choices. But Bobby made choices too. He made a choice not to look for his former best friend; he made a choice to let him go without a word. And whatever John says, Bobby knows that he should have done something. Even if it would have made no difference. Even if John would have hated him more for doing it.

He doesn't look back at John as he replies.]

Yeah. Okay.

[And that's exactly why John hates him - because Bobby should have done something. He should have been a better fucking friend, and he's not allowed to realize that now. It means shit to him now and it would have meant nothing to him then. Bobby's not allowed to get on his fucking high horse and act pathetic and devastated over being such a crappy friend. All of it, all of that resentment, constantly simmers inside of John, all the envy and hatred for the same, all toxic and permeating, and if there's something John hates even more about Bobby than just Bobby, it's when the Iceman tries to give John a reason not to hate him so much anymore.

So John just seethes, glaring at Bobby's back wordlessly.]

Breaking out of character now because AUGH. D: IT'S... IT'S SO SAD.

AND I LOVE IT!

UGH YES. D: THEY HURT ME. BOBBY WAS THE ONLY FRIEND HE EVER HAD, DAMMIT. LOOK AT THEM, MINDY. LOOK AT THEM NOW. D:

I LOVE IT LIKE BURNING.

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Bobby's aftermath threads

KDSJL;KWREJGOEIRG

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Re: KDSJL;KWREJGOEIRG

THEY MAKE ME SAD D:

DITTO D:

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They are just so sad :(

Re: They are just so sad :(

Re: They are just so sad :(