http://canstillkickass.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] canstillkickass.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] xmutanthigh2010-10-25 11:24 pm

[closed log] Breakdown amongst the Books

Characters: Rogue, Julian
Setting: The library
Content: Julian's the hugmaster of the week and Rogue's crazy is starting to show and Bria can't write a serious summary to save her life.
Status: Complete
Notes: Pretend that this is actually taking place tomorrowish. Why? Because Crystal and I have no patience and it's about 40 minutes away from being tomorrow in my time.



These training sessions with Logan weren't getting any easier. Her head was in a constant state of pain and the psyches refused to be silent and her body was definitely starting to feel the effects of taking an hour long beating from the Wolverine. She'd finally started to get some control over the psyches' powers but the effects were draining and her attempts to use them earlier had been less than stellar. It was all she could do not to just scream. She could barely focus enough to shower and change into clean clothes.

Today was just not one of the better days. 'Bad' would probably be a more adept descriptor.

She found herself wandering into the library; a room that was almost always deserted at this time of day. She'd just set down her books on one of the corner tables when the Bobby psyche surged towards the front, taking advantage of her exhaustion, and she fell to her knees. It wasn't one of the stronger attempts by the psyches to take over and she was able to beat it back a few moments later. The psyches wouldn't silence and she couldn't even make herself stand up again. Instead, she leaned her back up against the wall, pulling her knees tight against her chest.

"Shutupshutupgoaway," she muttered, eyes shut tight as she rocked back and forth, trying to force the psyches back.

Some days, she could just shove the psyches away and pretend that nothing was wrong. Not today.

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
He wanted to ask. Wanted to know what just happened, why it did. But he couldn't--wouldn't ask, not now. Sensed that even if he tried and broke the quiet, it wouldn't be for the best. He knew maybe he should tell someone. Tell Emma or Logan, tell Storm, but he knew, holding her as he was at that moment, that he wouldn't. He wouldn't until he knew something more. Until she told him or explained. She was private and as long as she was... okay right now, there was no need too push so soon. And this was... private. His eyes closed on a short sigh, his fingers smoothing back her hair, idly playing with it.

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 01:31 pm (UTC)(link)
He moved with her, pushing himself up straighter against the wall. He didn't entertain the notion of looking away from her, didn't even want to stop looking. She hated all of this, he knew it--touching, looking, talking. But he needed to look at her now, some aching wave of affection laced into his concern. When did her ever really look at her, besides that one moment in the maze, right before he kissed her? And wasn't this what he had been avoiding all along? Not touching her so he couldn't keep wanting to, not only for her. Not looking so he could avoid seeing something he couldn't--didn't want to handle.

She was embarrassed; he saw that. Saw the pink in her cheeks, the unsure line of her lips. The way her fingers grabbed and pulled at each other. How she avoided him completely. He rested his cheek against the wall as he watched her for another moment, licked his dry lips.

"Rogue," he said quietly, struggling for the right words. "Whatever this is... you don't have to be alone."
Edited 2010-10-26 13:32 (UTC)

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 03:41 pm (UTC)(link)
He gazed at her for another moment, studied the worried lines on her face as she lied. It was a lie, he knew it. At least partially. This wasn't nothing, she could hardly handle it. It wasn't fine. He sucked in a steadying breath and let it out, looking away into the empty, quiet room. He wanted to reach for her again, touch her somehow, but now he hesitated, wasn't sure how. Wasn't sure if he should.

But he did anyway, reached to place his hand over hers to stop their nervous fidgeting.

"Are you okay?" he asked, the question was weighted with all the others he didn't voice. "Does someone--Emma or Logan--do they know?"
Edited 2010-10-26 15:42 (UTC)

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 04:15 pm (UTC)(link)
He nodded then, relieved, glanced from her downturned face to their hands. She had only pulled one away, and some part of him was stuck on that fact. The part of him that wasn't stuck on the lost look in her eyes not fifteen minutes ago. "Good," he murmured, and then again, his voice stronger. "Good." Gently, he curled his fingers around her hand, gave it a soft squeeze.
Edited 2010-10-26 16:16 (UTC)

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
He looked up to her too, his gaze soft and searching, his brow slightly furrowed. She wanted to keep this--whatever this was--a secret from Logan. He swallowed, his lips parted as he examined the renewed strength in her expression, the firmness of her resolve. She was scared. He thought she was scared, at least. Scared of whatever consequences would ensue. About what had happened.

If Logan knew--if Emma knew, they must know this. At least Emma must. How could she not know? So he nodded, comforted by that thought, at least. "Okay," he agreed. "I won't tell anyone. Just--as long as you promise me one thing."

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
"You promise me that if this gets worse, I won't have to," he said, leaning in closer, holding her gaze. His tone was firm but not unkind, his eyes leaving hers to roam the slopes of her faces for a second. "Because you will."

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
He hesitated then at the dryness of her reply, the bitter amusement that passed over her features. He wondered, and definitely not for the last time, if he was handling this right. If he should go straight to Emma right now. If not letting anyone know put Rogue in more danger from whatever it was that had happened.

He looked at her, the doubt on his face hard and lingering as he lifted his free hand to touch her hair, brush it back with easy gentleness. Even familiarity, from wanting to do it so many times.

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 06:10 pm (UTC)(link)
"Look, don't," he started, the words more reflex than anything as he followed her to his feet. He slipped between her and the door, his hip resting against the table, his fingers resting lightly over her books, next to hers. He didn't want her to go, especially not this time. But what could he say to make her stay? "You don't have to... I wasn't lying, sweetheart. I'm always here for you."

[identity profile] kickasstelekine.livejournal.com 2010-10-26 08:34 pm (UTC)(link)
He sighed, looked into the empty space she seemed to have so much interest in. His hand hovered between them, over her hip for a moment. "Okay," he said, reluctant. "I'll see you."