xmutanthigh | [closed log] Breakdown amongst the Books

Characters: Rogue, Julian
Setting: The library
Content: Julian's the hugmaster of the week and Rogue's crazy is starting to show ~~and Bria can't write a serious summary to save her life.~~
Status: Complete
Notes: Pretend that this is actually taking place tomorrowish. Why? Because Crystal and I have no patience and it's about 40 minutes away from being tomorrow in my time.

These training sessions with Logan weren't getting any easier. Her head was in a constant state of pain and the psyches refused to be silent and her body was definitely starting to feel the effects of taking an hour long beating from the Wolverine. She'd finally started to get some control over the psyches' powers but the effects were draining and her attempts to use them earlier had been less than stellar. It was all she could do not to just scream. She could barely focus enough to shower and change into clean clothes.

Today was just not one of the better days. 'Bad' would probably be a more adept descriptor.

She found herself wandering into the library; a room that was almost always deserted at this time of day. She'd just set down her books on one of the corner tables when the Bobby psyche surged towards the front, taking advantage of her exhaustion, and she fell to her knees. It wasn't one of the stronger attempts by the psyches to take over and she was able to beat it back a few moments later. The psyches wouldn't silence and she couldn't even make herself stand up again. Instead, she leaned her back up against the wall, pulling her knees tight against her chest.

"Shutupshutupgoaway," she muttered, eyes shut tight as she rocked back and forth, trying to force the psyches back.

Some days, she could just shove the psyches away and pretend that nothing was wrong. Not today.

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"It's nothing," she answered quickly, shaking her head. "I can handle it. It's fine. Today's just... it's just a bad day."

She couldn't lift her gaze to even glance at him, afraid of what she'd find there. Afraid that she might find herself feeling similarly. It almost made her miss battling with the psyches. At least she knew where she stood with them.

He gazed at her for another moment, studied the worried lines on her face as she lied. It was a lie, he knew it. At least partially. This wasn't nothing, she could hardly handle it. It wasn't fine. He sucked in a steadying breath and let it out, looking away into the empty, quiet room. He wanted to reach for her again, touch her somehow, but now he hesitated, wasn't sure how. Wasn't sure if he should.

But he did anyway, reached to place his hand over hers to stop their nervous fidgeting.

"Are you okay?" he asked, the question was weighted with all the others he didn't voice. "Does someone--Emma or Logan--do they know?"

Edited 2010-10-26 15:42 (UTC)

She shook her head and repeated the lie that came so easily. "I'm fine. It's fine." Her hands stilled beneath his touch before she pulled one of them away to tuck wayward white hair back behind her ear. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him open his mouth to repeat his second question. "They know," she said softly before he could say anything. "They already know."

He nodded then, relieved, glanced from her downturned face to their hands. She had only pulled one away, and some part of him was stuck on that fact. The part of him that wasn't stuck on the lost look in her eyes not fifteen minutes ago. "Good," he murmured, and then again, his voice stronger. "Good." Gently, he curled his fingers around her hand, gave it a soft squeeze.

Edited 2010-10-26 16:16 (UTC)

"He doesn't need to know about this though, okay?" Rogue raised her head to look at him for the first time in what seemed like ages. There was a strength in her voice that hadn't previously been there. The last thing she wanted was for her mentor to find out this had happened after all her progress earlier in the week.

He looked up to her too, his gaze soft and searching, his brow slightly furrowed. She wanted to keep this--whatever this was--a secret from Logan. He swallowed, his lips parted as he examined the renewed strength in her expression, the firmness of her resolve. She was scared. He thought she was scared, at least. Scared of whatever consequences would ensue. About what had happened.

If Logan knew--if Emma knew, they must know this. At least Emma must. How could she not know? So he nodded, comforted by that thought, at least. "Okay," he agreed. "I won't tell anyone. Just--as long as you promise me one thing."

She narrowed her eyes, torn between suspicion and curiosity. "Depends on what it is."

"You promise me that if this gets worse, I won't have to," he said, leaning in closer, holding her gaze. His tone was firm but not unkind, his eyes leaving hers to roam the slopes of her faces for a second. "Because you will."

She had to bite back at laugh at that. If it got worse? It already was worse. She wasn't sure that it could much worse. But he didn't know that and she wasn't about to tell him. Instead, she took a moment to compose herself before nodding soberly with a half lie. "Alright, fine."

He hesitated then at the dryness of her reply, the bitter amusement that passed over her features. He wondered, and definitely not for the last time, if he was handling this right. If he should go straight to Emma right now. If not letting anyone know put Rogue in more danger from whatever it was that had happened.

He looked at her, the doubt on his face hard and lingering as he lifted his free hand to touch her hair, brush it back with easy gentleness. Even familiarity, from wanting to do it so many times.

They had moved past the easy and comfortable part of this whole encounter and Rogue felt herself headed straight for awkward. She bit her lip as she slowly stood up, body still protesting at the mere thought of movement.

"I should... I have..." She rested a hand on her books and nodded towards the library door.

"Look, don't," he started, the words more reflex than anything as he followed her to his feet. He slipped between her and the door, his hip resting against the table, his fingers resting lightly over her books, next to hers. He didn't want her to go, especially not this time. But what could he say to make her stay? "You don't have to... I wasn't lying, sweetheart. I'm always here for you."

"I know," Rogue said, looking to the side and not at him again. She picked up her books, clutching at them with both hands so she wouldn't start wringing them again. "I just have a lot of work to finish for tomorrow." She doesn't even know if it's a lie or the truth.

He sighed, looked into the empty space she seemed to have so much interest in. His hand hovered between them, over her hip for a moment. "Okay," he said, reluctant. "I'll see you."

[closed log] Breakdown amongst the Books

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