[Julian takes a breath - a slow, shallow one that shakes just slightly on exhale. His fingers tighten at her wrist, although he doesn't notice. Her body, her voice; she just feels like an anchor he needs to hold onto.]
I killed someone. [His voice seems to be unable to go on after that; it stops in his throat for a moment. It seems stupid, now that's he's said it. Naive. X-men have to kill all the time. He's even helped Josh kill before. But this was just - despite knowing he had no choice, Julian can't understand how he can righteously say it was for the greater good like he always would tell himself, because it wasn't. It was either him or Longshot. And he chose to protect Ali and himself, not live up to some ideal of being better than the enemy.]
no subject
I killed someone. [His voice seems to be unable to go on after that; it stops in his throat for a moment. It seems stupid, now that's he's said it. Naive. X-men have to kill all the time. He's even helped Josh kill before. But this was just - despite knowing he had no choice, Julian can't understand how he can righteously say it was for the greater good like he always would tell himself, because it wasn't. It was either him or Longshot. And he chose to protect Ali and himself, not live up to some ideal of being better than the enemy.]